Sunday, December 17, 2006
Death of my cousin's dog
My cousin’s lab "Dutch" died a few days ago and the whole family(excluding my brother David) from coast to coast was talking about it. It was literally a death in the family. My lab is getting old and I'm dreading the inevitable. The death of my cousin’s dog made me think about it all day yesterday. I’m dreading having to deal with the emotion. It’s too bad that society dictates men have to remain relatively stoic in such situations. One of my best friends growing up died from an undetected congenital heart defect during a basketball game our junior year in high school.During his funeral his family was much more openly emotional than I was accustom to. I remember his mom was screaming his name and thrashing about and I thought to myself, I’ll bet that feels really good to just scream your grief out like that. Like when you smash your finger with a hammer,it feels good to scream some choice words and dance around. Well I have just decided from now on I'm going to let go and become an emotional screamer. I may start a movement, write some books and do seminars as well. Anyone interested in being a disciple? I'll call it "Let Go".
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5 comments:
My Doberman died in June and I am still grieving. She gave me total unconditional love - 24/7. I wish I could love like she did - totally accepting - just feed me and scratch my ears and you have 100% devotion. I can still hear her and smell her and feel her presence. That's pretty wierd in itself to me. I wish I could love like she did. I don't think if I yelled and screamed about it, you guys would feel like nurturing me and comforting me - as a matter of fact, I think that would cause you to want to "put me away" somewhere.
So grieving quietly may make you think that I am just trying to be "politically correct" but it gives me a sense of security that you don't really know how totally nuts I am about it!
When Dutch died, my heart was broken. Even so, I never really felt the need to scream and yell - just quietly grieve. It upset my daughters more to see me cry than the fact that their beloved "Dutchie" was gone. I don't mind my kids seeing me cry, but screaming would have scared them and left a lasting impression. My husband would have just stared at me in bewilderment. But instead he understood my grief and responded with a long hug. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.
Well Kara, I’m glad you didn't scream. It wouldn't be good to scream like a mad woman in front of the kids. Plus I wasn't recommending scream therapy for you. It would have to be in an appropriate place and time. And not everyone can benefit for this cutting edge and still under development psycho-therapy. I would definitely recommend hug therapy for you and plan to administer some to you the next time we're together. In the mean time hug as needed.
Well, my dog didnt die, but I could still use a hug!
Ginny, this is a BIG EMAIL HUG!
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